Be Fascinated - Chapter 21
Translator and Editor: Effe and Yonnee
“The real thing has been kicked out, how can I stand still?”
Even though he called her the saint, Irik’s hand gently stroked her hair. The warm dark green eyes smiled. Although he was stubborn compared to his age, it seemed that he still thought he was her older brother.
“Hold on, stay here for a moment. I cannot take you straight to the temple.”
Philia knows that. If she went to the temple right away, she didn’t know what Claude would do. Besides, if Bianca had taken control of the temple, Philia had no choice but to be defeated.
“I will reinterpret the oracle.”
“With others, I will interpret it properly. Is it a blue flower or a red flower…?”
Philia’s expression turned dark.
“What if I’m not real?”
At Philia’s question, Irik sighed.
“You are real.”
“You are real. It cannot be a lie.”
Philia became uneasy at the words that denied even the slightest possibility. If she’s fake. What if she’s fake? What if everything was false?
It’s not that Irik didn’t think about the possibility that she might not be the saint either. If she’s not the saint… It won’t happen, but if not…
The conclusion was simple.
Then she can live here. Normally. She got out of that man’s clutches.
If that’s the case, Philia will be living here as she only knew Irik. When he was tired and when he visited her from time to time, she would smile brightly and greet him.
Philia waiting for him… Somehow it wasn’t bad.
He felt a strange sense of satisfaction. At that time, the image of Philia flashed across Irik’s mind.
In the blue dress, she was held by Claude and made such a lewd look…
Irik called out her name as if to shake off his imagination.
“I have the clothes ready. Come on, change your clothes.”
Philia nodded her head and entered the room, carrying the clothes Irik was pointing to. Irik wanted to punish himself. Why did he have such sacrilegious thoughts about Philia again?
Beyond that door, Philia was taking her clothes off. Irik’s face flushed red. He’s been through this a lot, and he didn’t know why he’s being this.
Not long after that Philia opened the door and showed up. Buttons all the way to her neck, long sleeves, and not a robe, but modest enough to match her temple uniform. But, somehow, Irik couldn’t take his eyes off her. The clothes were tight and her body line was exposed too much.
Obviously, Philia was the same, and even her clothes were so modest, but why does Philia’s appearance look so strange?
Was it because she had accepted a man? Or was she so seductive from the beginning?
“Next time, I will prepare a bigger one.”
“I must have gained some weight because I didn’t move much.”
At Irik’s stern words, Philia said as if puzzled. He said, hardening his face.
“And, you should pray without ceasing. You never know if you will have the power of God?”
“Other faithful saints have never done that before, but can I?”
“High Priest, you know me.”
Philia said with a bitter expression. Here, God’s power, the divine power, takes precedence over the interpretation of the oracle. The divine power was usually shown as a ‘healing power’ that could deal with life. This healing power was able to freely deal with diseases and poisons that dwell in the human body and harm life. As such, it was a tremendous force.
However, since the saints discovered at some point were unable to use their divine powers, the priests relied on the oracle to find them. Now, the presence or absence of divine power did not determine their identity as a saint. As long as there was a girl born in a place designated by the oracle, that child will become the saint.
“I will try though.”
If she had that kind of power, she would have found her place right away without confronting Bianca.
Irik looked at Philia’s worried face. The face, with her eyebrows drooping, always gave a soft and gentle feeling.
It was only natural for such an innocent kid to be deceived by that evil bastard.
It was such a big flaw that the saint had felt lust, but Irik was able to fix it himself. Wasn’t it possible for a young and innocent girl to come in contact with filth without knowing it? He was generously able to forgive it.
Then, Irik’s gaze turned to Philia’s chest. Seeing the protruding place, he was startled and averted his gaze. When she’s here, he keeps getting weird.
“Then I will get going.”
“Yes. Have a safe trip.”
The words, “Come back,” made Irik happy. Even as he immediately left for the temple, Irik continued to look back.
The place where Philia was located was a village where only those with deep faith lived. Perhaps because of Irik’s request, Philia was able to adapt to the village after three days.
Some priests in the temple recognized Philia and treated her kindly. Seeing the kind people, Philia felt sorry that she had been disappointed at the temple for so long.
Freed from the strange sense of guilt, she became a devout believer again and felt a sense of security.
“Oh Lord of my heart, purify me with your light. Rebuke your foolish daughter for being deceived.”
Philia read the scripture every day and prayed. When she went back to the way she had been living her life, her mind was at ease.
As she ended her day with prayers, Philia’s defiled heart seemed to be cleansed.
One day ended, and then another. A few days went on just like that.
“The Emperor has passed away.”
News from the capital also came to this small town. Finally, Claude took the throne. Philia nodded upon hearing the news.
After the state funeral, Claude would have taken the throne. It was just as Irik had expected. Perhaps he, who became the emperor, would not find her for a while. Philia sighed in relief.
Ten days passed like that. Philia worked hard to live a diligent life. She was anxious about her lack of contact with Irik, but she decided that it was good news.
As night fell, the emptiness came. It was different from when the sun came up. At dawn, when she could not sleep, she was troubled.
Why, why? Why did Claude do that? Did he not know that it was a deception? Would he have thought it was okay to lie like that?
Although only a few days had passed, the time she had lived in Claude’s mansion felt far away. The splendid life felt like a dream.
But the hand that caressed her, his glimmering eyes. The temperature and heat of the flesh that was placed on her body remained in her. At night, she was somehow empty and cold.
Philia smiled coldly. Was this how the kind of body that she had only heard of truly felt?
Ever since she came to town, every night she suffered thinking of Claude. It was as if his voice could be heard.
It would have been better if she didn’t know anything. She knew what it was to be loved, though it was a delusion and deceit, and she knew what it was like to sleep with him. An ordinary woman recognized a man’s body.
When she thought of the acts she had done with Claude, she kept getting hotter. Between her legs was wet with moisture.
“Please. Don’t come to mind.”
If she ever became a saint again, it was everything she needed to forget. The pleasures of this flesh were the temptations of the devil. She had to get out of it.
Claude was the devil. He deceived her. He was a deceitful man. He was the one who treated her as a rare commodity.
But why did his happy face sometimes come to mind? At her last meeting, she remembered his happy face as he held her in his arms.
Was it a smile to deceive her?
Her heart foolishly weakened again. Even though she knew it was useless, she desperately sought her god.
“My lord, please do not put me to the test.”
Along that day, for some reason, her tears flowed down. She missed his warm embrace and the temperature. As if to deny it, Philia fervently prayed her prayers before falling asleep.
In her dream, she heard Claude’s voice.
He tenaciously bit Philia’s ear and patted her neck. He put his hands on her clothes and grabbed her bare chest. Her fingers touched her sensitive nipples. Another hand touched her thigh.
Philia shook her head. Is he trying to dominate her even in her dreams now? He was obviously an incubus. Philia shook her head and chased the dream away.
But for some reason, the hot body she felt on her back made her mind at ease. The body, which she hesitated in refusing, stopped moving. It was as if she could feel his body.
Philia slept with the scent and warmth as a blanket.
It was a very deep slumber.
Philia woke up to the sound of birds singing in the morning. Feeling refreshed, Philia looked at the side of her bed unknowingly.
Of course, she was alone in her bed. She barely felt relieved.
How could he, the emperor, come here? Philia found it ridiculous and laughed.
He may have literally come from a dream. Because she never missed him.
Philia took off her nightgown and again buttoned the clothes up all the way to her neck. She wore loose robes and she walked back to the temple. The cool morning breeze cleared her hazy mind.
Philia lit up a candle, and she saw a statue of god. Perhaps it was because she overslept, there were no priests. Looking up at the stone statue, Philia offered a morning prayer of repentance.
“My lord, grant me your favor even at night. Give your foolish daughter, who indulges in sin, strength to escape from delusion.”
She had to repent for dreaming of Claude last night. Her voice echoed softly in the empty prayer room.
“My body and mind are yours alone…”
“Who do you want?”
She flinched at the smooth voice in the back of her head. For a moment, she felt all the hair strands in her stood up.
“My lord, save me from the devil that tempts me…”
“Please let me go.”
“Open your eyes.”
“Please, let me go.”
A dream, a hallucination, please let it not be a reality! Philia begged earnestly. As if God were a lifeline, she closed her eyes tightly and prayed. Stupidly.
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